Never miss a chance to suit up..

 

Hearts for suits <3

Running on 25 makes me want to suit up a bit. 

Early spring has mind of its own. Gets warm when chilling in my PJs at home , gets dark and cold every time I decide to go out. But a great chance to suit up, be warm and looking smart. 

Coat : knits:  shirt: pants:  shoes:Ninewest bags : Tommy Hilfiger

Never walked the run

                                                    Yet another glamorous night, hmm but with a bit of twist . So , it was suppose to be a designer's competition ( DE' DESIGNER OF THE YEAR 2014 "Make art not waste") and we all were set with our makeup and our dresses but the show wont start at all. Later it was clarified that the show has been canceled. The show's organizer didn't pay the Hotèl De Annapurna. And it became a huge issue , designers were so furious and started arguing with the event manager, who was having his drink by the bar, sad for him , he was made to spent the night and a day at the police station and still the organizer is missing and investigation is on the progress.

                           I was meant to model for a design collaboration of Sujan ,Ranjit and Pravas. And due to the "issue" between designers and the organizer everyone decided not to display their designs till justice is served. So, here is a little teaser on the show that never walked the runway..

DESIGNER : RANJIT, ROZA

DESIGNER : ROGINA with her model

Model : Paru , Samana

TRYING OUT MY MAKEUP AND HAIRDO

Designed with waste CD and VCR cassette reels .. 

Graduation fashion show

 

Late late post ..

 I am becoming lost. It feels like there is nothing to write any more. Normal days and some just happy days and over joyed moments. No more sad , lonely days which is perfect for writing my boring blog. May it be love ? It may so .. There is no single day which passes by without my love and his unconditional care. No more jealous envy , no more anger , no more desire to look perfect to make some significant people burn to ashes,  they could just go to hell and it wont even make me want to have a slight evil smile. May god bless them , they will be needing it. 

Well !! A month ago I had to attend graduation fashion show. It was interesting. Some great design, some interesting ideas and over all they put up a nice show. These graduation shows makes me wonder what I would be designing on my turn. Any ways here are some photos of my favorite designs enjoy!! 

Coat and pants:tailored Blouse:vintagelace shoes:Aldo 

OH !! THE HAPPINESS !!!

OH!! That feeling when you know you found the perfect one. The one you been dying to have ,the one you been needing to be with. If all those blunders I had in past is the price I pay my god to have him, OH!! is all worth it. My heartaches may be the price I pay for him, it all worth it.

                        OH!! the happiness!! that feeling when you know you will never be alone, there will always be someone. To hold and be held with a warm love. And I know, I can go careless , I can go crazy, may even go insane a little bit. Even after all these faults , I know , I wont be that girl crying her whole night with a feeling of being unloved. OH !! I am not that girl any more. I can bet my life over his care when I go careless , when I go crazy I can bet my life that he would be there going crazy with me, And I can bet when I go insane he would be there to take me back home without regrets of me going insane. How can I not fall in love with him , how can I not care for him and how can I not burst my inner voice saying  "OH!! THE HAPPINESS!!"

Till that day

 Thoughts I red them , some said what are you ? some said who the hell do you think you are ? But no I am not bothered . And no it doesn't trouble me at all. So what if people underestimate me with their foolish ignorant understanding. Its non of my concern. But I assure you of a day you will be enlightenment from your foolishness. A day when I will light up and show how much I had inside me. So till that day say what you have to say , think what your understanding makes you think till that day. While I prepare myself for my day that is coming my way.

HELLO !!! 2014

     NEW YEAR!! Everyone seems to be expecting their new change , new dreams and new hopes. But I will be honest , I might not be one of them. I don't want change , I don't have new dreams to dream nor I hope for anything. But what I expect is to wroth what changed ,  dreams which came true and those hopes I lived up to.
                           

                        Review of the year 2013

 

1. Found my passion.                            
2. Made new friends.                            
3. Met my inspiration and got inspired.         
4. Saw my imagination come alive.               
5. Been to new places I never seen before.      
6. Discovered and understood what's good for me.
7. Found my missing puzzle piece.               
8. Went crazy over Korean food.                 
9. Most of all I understood myself.                                

Every year feels like my life taking me to new height that looking down to my regrets is a sin which would drag me to the hell, I never want to be in. Although all of those dramas , those heart breaking moments, those painful tears of hurt, those heart stabbing days of disappointments ,those feared feelings of losing someone and finding someone else. And still here I am in 2014 , smiling with all my grace , laughing with my heart out , loved by loved ones  and most essentially being the same old me as I was before.
 HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE !!!!

INSPIRATION

 Yes ! I know I am a month late for this post. Still posting this late is alot better than not posting at all. 

Well! that evening was , Life changing moment ,Unforgettable moment. Something that will last forever as I shall live. Seeing him live and real was such inspiration . The Prabal Gurung himself Only 5 inch away from me. And he replies to my words, it was like me falling in love with him. So kind , so generous so handsome. Beside falling in love and secretly wishing to faint in his arms like a Bollywood heroine, There was so much to learn from him, as designer , as an artist ,as a human. There is one that he said and it still comes in my mind and keeps me going , even in hard days ( the days like not being able to believe in myself , doubting everything). He said never take your disappointment as a failure, you should always take it as a struggle, and it shall pass. I couldn't take him but I took home a lesson, which inspired me and took me to a whole new level.  

I hold myself

I tell you. People are the greatest lesson someone can ever learn. More people you deal with more you doubt on yourself. More you fail more you learn. The more you think you mastered it the more you fail on it. 

But it always might not be your fault , your mistake. People are just too unpredictable. And too cautious about their roles and their part ,they play , that sometime somewhere unwillingly they act the way their role should act without having the deep understanding about What is the right thing to do for their and others welfare.

I am a contain failure when it comes to understanding people. I am a slow learner when it comes to this understanding people too. The moment when I let down my guards thinking I know it all, that is when it hits me with a hurtful realization of not knowing that person even a bit. It feels like I studied the whole night , did brilliant in exams yet getting a shocking low result that I would stop me from believing and trusting my own capability of understanding. 

May be that is why , before I could even think about trusting others and believing my own understanding I hold myself 

I saw a woman, I always dreamed of being myself.

She believes in herself , and I stared believing me ..

So, there she was in her curly hair , a proud smile and a strong attitude. A room half full of her hard work boosted her pride even more, even more when we stared at her work like a kid drooling at a colorful candy. I couldn't stop thinking and wondering "How cool she is ". 

I was moving one photograph at a time and she amazed me in every photograph  I passed,  that drowning in the water , that flying teddy and that red lamp on the contrasting blue wall just stole my heart . As we were being awed by her work , she on the other hand was carelessly watching our expression and feeding her self with every appreciation and smile we had in our face.

 I loved her messy curly hair , her proud smile , her strong attitude , her confidence on her work , her believe in herself and said to myself  I saw a woman, I always dreamed of being myself. 

 

Art (by Thymi and momo) and photograph( by Yusha ) Exhibition at Trisara Garden .

Imagenation comes alive

      

Once someone said I think too much and I need to stop it . That I am emotionally too week to survive in this practical world. At that time I could do nothing than to agree more to it , and I tried to do it too. I stopped sitting on my chair in the balcony with my deep contemplation, gazing the stars and imagining  things, I stopped it all. I thought of being practical and tried to be that person he wanted . Going through this misery, one day I just felt like "why am I changing and throwing myself through this hell for someone who doesn't even gives a shit about me ?". After that day I felt like I was back and I was back with a bang . 

I think the way I am makes me " me ",the one I love , the one I appreciate the most. He might have concluded that I am better off without my over thinking and emotions , but only I know how over thinking and emotions works for me. Sitting on that chair in my balcony is like sitting on a sit in a rocket and revolving around the possibility and searching new ways to satisfy my hungry mind wanting for more . Sitting on that chair is like a grandma sitting on a rocking chair carefully knitting the plans one knot at a time. And when I am done with satisfaction of ideas then carefully knitting my plans, I make my imagination come alive ..

croptop : my own design / blue jeans / shoes : gifted

This croptop is my proud possession. I make it with a waste silk fabric (hardly a half a meter long) abandon in my college's gt classroom and that see through fabric uselessly laying on a corner..  

when one blooms in its full beauty bloom, other on the other side losess its lives

 The true nature of life .One lives and one dies ...
                            Some day I will die too, someday I will lose all my beauty bloom , someday I will have weaken bones and someday I will fall down ... That day is someday . I guess it was not this day . And when I will be no longer here , I wonder when and who will remember me , what they will remember about me ? This questions hunts me every night and day  .. what will they remember? I thought about it ,,, but I concluded, in the fact that I was never there for anyone . I was here in a isolated world of my own, contemplating ,understanding myself and writing on this blog all alone . On second thought why do I even want to be remembered ? Oh yes ! If I dig in inner core , I don't want to be remembered I would like an easily go . No one crying on the funeral. It will kill my departed soul to see tears on those I love the most . Feel sorry and guilty for the sorrow ..
               And when I die I wish noone cries, I wish noones feels that it is end of his life. 

What he left us ....

 

Hi! what is your name ? Oh!! What does your father do ?? 

Some questions are just too mentally un-tolerable ....  emotionally un - bearable .......  and verbally un -speakable. It just re - reminds me that pala is Un -seeable ..

He might have left. But the more important thing is " What he left us ?" The answer for that would be seen in who these seven different personalities with similar mentality are . He lefts us hands full of memories ,pocket full of pride , heart full of compassion , mind full of kind thoughts ,  attitude full of humbleness , and deeds full of respect and responsibility towards our ama la..  I  might be sounding little too moralistic but once you get to know seven of us you will realize ,what I say is nothing close to moralistic. What we are ,who we are, inheritance to who he was. I wont say he was a perfect man but he was an innocent angel stuck in the hellish earth, taking every sins done by others ,still giving every bit of compassion and humbleness in return.  He was our innocent father .. and he left us his inocence

   

 

 

                     I found this small leather bag that he left behind (hand sewed by him)

 

printed shirt / vintage jeans -etc/  flats -bruno maneeti

ON Wish list

 

Why do we have a huge wish list ?

As I grow older day by day ,my wish list gets longer and longer today. some wish on list faded away and some more wish coming my way . I try to fulfill one wish but twice more drags me to the same place . That makes me wonder , Why do I wish and why do I bother to fulfill it ? Then I remember the hunger to fulfill the wish is, the fun reason to live . 

MY WISH LIST

1# TO HAVE MY NAME ON THE LABLE

1034# To own my own OLYMPUS